Being Bullied? Deep Breath, Take these Seven Steps
Anti-Bullying. Pro-Confidence, Empowerment and Resilience
Bullying… it’s raw, it’s real and it’s on the increase (leaping by 87% over the past three years).
Know this – you’re not alone. It doesn’t have to leave you feeling helpless. Look around you – in the classroom, playground, outside of school. For every 5 people you see, one among them has been bullied. In the average class size of 20 students, three people might feel JUST, LIKE, YOU.
It can be verbal, physical, mental – online and offline – pushing, shoving, punching.
Headaches, sickness, a black cloud that hangs constantly over your head – bullying brings about many physical symptoms. Friends and family are cut off, sleep is lost and in the most extreme of instances we hurt ourselves or even attempt to take our life.
The loss of control can be as overwhelming as the names called and physical blows dealt.
It’s not acceptable, and the first step should always be to seek a solution from an adult – a parent, carer, teacher or person of authority. But let’s be straight-up. Sometimes those adults are able to fix it, and the bullying stops. Other times it gets worse. And the words of “just keep reporting it” mean little when you feel vulnerable to attack.
We’re here to equip you with the mindset and the means to take control.
Let’s start right now, with this seven-step strategy.
Step one: Know what’s Bullying, and what’s a Crime
Not all bullying behaviour is bullying. A lot of it is crime. So let’s clear this up: bullying is where it hurts your feelings.
Physical pain? That’s assault. Damage or loss of something? That’s theft. Destroying your property? That’s vandalism or destruction of property. Spreading lies that lead to school exclusion, being fired or getting in trouble with the authorities? That’s defamation or slander.
The action here is simple – report it. Call 111.
Step two: Shake up Your Mindset
Rhianna, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Lawrence, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Christina Aguilera, Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake. The thing that unites all of these celebs? They were all bullied. They are trying to make a victim out of you. Don’t let them do it. Let me tell you something they’d rather you not know…
It’s not you. It was never you. It’s them.
Repeat it, believe it. They’re trying to upset you or make you react in anger. “grass, a snitch, tell-tale”
In telling an adult, you had a power that they could not control. Bullying ALWAYS comes back to control.
Step three: Focus on Being Resilient
It’s not the events that hurt our feelings, it’s our thoughts about the event. Words have power but only if you give them power. It’s your choice. Mental toughness removes the power from the bully, but a resilient mindset takes practice.
Step four: Be Prepared
“The battle is won before it is fought….”
Whether the bullying is current, or has passed, or even if no bullying has yet affected you, being prepared wins the battle of bullying before it has begun.
Being prepared means committing to learning, practicing and becoming familiar with the right reaction if faced with bullying.
This means practicing with a parent, another adult you trust, or coming along to our Kung Fu School, where we’ll teach you what to do within a structured session.
Like any skill, it takes commitment and practice. But let us tell you something – once YOU set your mind to it, you are capable of ANYTHING.
Step five: Don’t Focus on the WHAT. Understand that there’s A WHY
Rather than focusing on the WHAT of bullying (whether it be verbal insults or social exclusion), start by understanding that there’s A WHY behind the bully’s behaviour (and that WHY, has nothing to do with YOU – it is instead related to their own circumstances).
Step six: A Game Won with Kindness
Bullying is a game about winning or losing. Winning is tough, but looks easy. The golden rule is this: don’t get upset – be resilient. Transform the way the bully treats you… Treat them like a friend, with kindness… treat them the way you’d like to be treated (you don’t have to be their friend, just be friendly to them and remove their power).
Step seven: Apologise (in THIS way)
There are three levels of apology…
LEVEL 1: I’m sorry I did you wrong.
LEVEL 2: I’m sorry that you think I did you wrong.
LEVEL 3: I’m sorry that I must distance myself from you because you won’t stop blaming me for doing you wrong.
The third apology sets out a boundary – laid out with both grit and grace – this can create space between you and the bully.
These are our seven starting stepsBeyond this, you may be waiting for our solution – the class that will be the solution to the bullying.
Here it is… YOU are the solution. YOU have the power to defeat the bullies. We teach you WHY bullies do what they do. And WHAT you can do to make them stop (for good).
What we teach helps whether you are being bullied or not. We’ll hand you the skills, the attitude, the tools. This is about self-defence when nothing else has worked. This is about not being what they expect.
Welcome to the Kung Fu School
Ready for your first mat chat?
Confidence, tolerance, modesty – these are just some of the ways we open our martial arts lessons. Alongside a class of friendly kids, you’ll experience physical and mental preparation to take control of your situation.
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